The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie.– Karen Morning
It happened slowly, and with precision…
Luke did not stop drinking in those first few months, and because I refused to see him under those circumstances, we spent virtually no time together. It was a smart decision on my part, as it kept me out of the reaches of his physical threat, but there was always texting and the phone, and I was not able to walk away because I was exposed to him at work.
Being near him made me feel sick, and the nightmare continued. He feared the distance I was attempting to create, for I might have told on him, and so he pretended to care about me. He then began an offensive, creating a harassing and hostile work environment for me. He would make the following verbal statements to me:
“If you report this, no one will believe you; you waited too long.”
“If you report this, people will think you are a woman scorned.”
“If you report this, you will lose your job.”
“If you report this, my daughter will kill you.”
“If you report this, I will kill you.”
He said all of the above more than once, often in an inebriated state outside of work, and sober while during work hours, never in texts or email but on the phone…
I did not think of recording these, or having the police listen in, I was drawn to the horror, my heart pounded as adrenaline was released with any type of contact. Why could not I stop, run away, end him?
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